Sticking out like a sore thumb

At 0830, I arrived at the National Library Building in the middle of town. I followed my sister in her car to her office, which was near the library. Thus, I am here THIS early. But apparently, 0830 is not early at all for some of the Singapore students in the library, even if the study lounge opens at 0900 and the libraries at 1000.

At 0835, there was already a line of people sitting outside the study lounge, waiting for the door to open. Even while waiting for the door, instead of talking, most of them have already opened their books and started studying.

And now at 0935, I am here, probably the only one who is not deep in her studies. There are five 2 to 3m tables with chairs on all sides, another six or so tables placed next to the windows, with chairs on both sides, there's even cushions placed at the front of the study lounge. And guess what? They are all filled. Yes, at 0935. Mostly by students, some who are having their breakfast and studying at the same time.

Feels lonely being the only one idling my time away =)

30 Aug is special

Today is my mother's birthday and for the second time, I am writing here instead of sharing it with my mom. If things went as planned, she should have arrived Singapore at 1600 and is now in my sister's place with her husband and grandchildren. She is such a party-er. Instead of opting to choose between celebrating with her sisters and mother or her family, she decided to do both. Thus, this morning she was still in KL, probably having spent yesterday going crazy with her buddies, and then hoping into a bus the very next morning.

Thus, it must be surprising to find that she is celebrating her 60th birthday. Well, it was for me. My mom is sixty. Isn't people who are sixty your grandparents and not your parents? Aren't sixty year olds suppose to be living the "slow" life, winding down? Not backpacking across China. Not diving (well, she has not done that for quite awhile). Never have I thought my mom would approach 60 so quickly, time does fly!

My mom is a remarkable woman.

From what I have been told, my mom have been a bookworm since young (scary!). Once, she got spanking for ranking 14th in class. But my mom was not a total goodie-two-shoes. Apparently, she did not get any spanking in the end as she and her nanny collaborated against her father, faking screams of pain as the nanny hit her ever lightly. Among stories of her childhood, her favourite (ones she repeated again and again) were ones of her and her father. One particularly memorable was just how she would boil fresh milk for her father. How she would skim the top layer of fats (which forms when milk is heated) for herself. She clearly had very fond memories of her father, who unfortunately passed away when she was merely 17. Thus, I never got to see this grandfather of mine.

My mom studied really hard and managed to get into university in Singapore (which is major feat at that time, very different from our time) to study pharmacy. After that, she dived straight into her career and didn't look back. I am pretty sure that my mom never had any really long breaks prior to her retirement (thus she is enjoying every moment of it right now). She is hates having things undone and would be restless until it is completed, even to this day, even with minor household things. Even though she was a mother of two kids (then three when I came along years after), she still strived in her career. She had a senior post where she worked for nearly 35 years until the day she retired. She was liked by people around her as she is kind, understanding, caring, patient, loving. I feel very privileged to have such a stunning example so close to me.

I love her so much, I don't want her to be sixty. Now I understand why some people want immortality, because life can feel so short.

Sick

Down with cough and flu. Just great! When I am suppose to be studying day in, day out - I am sleeping my day away. Waking up at frequent intervals to clear the phlegm in my throat and the booger in my nose XD Great..

I am still a child

If you think that leaving your family and home for a land thousand of miles away will lead to you grow, sometimes, it can be so wrong.

Since coming back home, I have rediscovered myself. It could be said that I lost my spark in the nine months in UK and was left dwindling until I came home. It is true, even my family have commented that after the good trip to China, I have become more energised than beforep. And I do feel different too. I feel more purposeful, more useful, more loved, more happy, more contented. And.... A little skinnier (work in progress).

I enjoyed my stay in UK, for sure, and made some friends that I hope will last, and I learnt many new things (mostly only during the end of the academic year, unfortunately). All in all, I just did not utilise my new freedom effectively and went down the slide.

What is the defining difference between this two "homes"? Guidance from family, as much as I would love to say I am in no need of it. I was innocent enough to think that there are people out there who would think for me more than my family (or even as much as them). Ridiculous, now I know. No one cares more for me than my family, and it took me so long to realise, I feel apologetic to them. And they are the ones who suffer most from my mistakes. Only people who care enough will point out your faults and encourage you to act. Only people who care enough will try to shield you from your innocence and naivety. Only people who care enough will be willing to endure your wrath just to teach you.

I am still a child.

The third side of the story

As I have mentioned a few times in this and previous blogs on certain not-so-happy occasions, the relationship between my dad and I borders between estranged and forced. This is rooted by the fear and respect that I have for my dad. Ironically, he is my inspiration. There is so much to know and to learn from him, how his head works and why he somehow is most often than not, one step ahead. Couple this righteousness with a ferocious temper, he seems to take on a role as a ancient age wartime general, where slight mistakes will meet with fatal consequences.

How did our relationship boil down to this situation? That, will be another story for another day.

Today's story is about understanding my father, more accurately, his pedagogy style in teaching children and loved ones. Also, about seeing in my own eyes the very things I failed to trust before. All this just because of a different vantage point.

If I dare say, my father have always had a brash attitude, as far as I am aware. When he has a point to make, or something to teach, there is no method that he won't use to get the message across. In fact, his style is captured more or less with this phrase, "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger". His words are like venom vaccines, inoculating it into your system, hurting you in the process, in hopes that you (or in the case of an injection, your body) will learn. The more he cares, the stronger the dosage.

Me, being an overly sensitive child (and the multifarious mistakes and wrongdoings that I am guilty of), I just could not take the words he said and the expectations that he sets. Thus, this hostile relationship began when I was 16 or even earlier. What tipped it off? Math and physics (my dad's favourite subjects) tuition.

It did not mean that I did not love my father, it was just that fear and ignorance engulfed everything else. It also did not mean my father did not love me, which was something that I learnt later on.

Having my nephew around this week really changed and cemented my perception of dad. With my rambunctious nephew around, all the uncanny remarks, for now, were aimed at him. Ben, my 6 year old nephew (with strength probably comparable with a Hulk of similar age) is still a child, so most would make leeways for his attitude, especially my mom. But my dad is strict, although miles less than how he treated me as a kid and lightyears less than my sisters'.

This is what I noticed, my dad is incessantly naggy. He uses every chance to try to imbed a certain lesson or warning into Ben, whether it is while he is eating or while he is playing. Secondly, my dad prefers to use the most effective and thus, stinging method. Also, he loves exaggeration: extrapolating a small mistake into a life-destroying problem. For example, Ben, like all kids, love to play. The problem is, he doesn't know when he should stop. To him, life revolves around playing. If it is not fun, it is not worth doing. And when he refuses to do something, he can be such a nuisance.Ben is no angel (especially when he doesn't want to be), he is pretty difficult to handle, with his boundless energy, massive strength and obnoxious attitude. He tends to not listen, especially when it comes to my mother. In a shopping mall, when he runs too far and mom screams, "Ben! Come back." He runs even further and more yelling only makes him run further and further away. Classic scenario, the bully-able grandma.

So yesterday, my dad said this to him, "Ben, there is only one monster in this world and that is you." Ouch! It certainly made my usually unaffected nephew feel something. If I were in his shoes, who knows how I would have reacted (crying would probably come close). I am not here to comment on the psychological effect of it, or whether it is the right thing to do, but this is just to explain the situation.

However, for all his mean and painful words, most of the time, he doesn't mean it. Even after saying all the things he says to my nephew, he still spoils him with trips to fast food (two times in three days!! Unheard of for a person who used to force "illegal" sweets and carbonated drink out of my sisters' mouths) and excursions to the rock climbing gym. This obvious and direct act of love, I could only see it when I am the observer, not the subject. I guess I have always taken too many things for granted.

This does not necessarily mean immediate reconciliation between my dad and I. That day will come, I hope. However, it makes my dad more human than anything else. I have always looked up to my dad. To me, there is no God, and my dad was and still is the closest thing to it. That is how much of an inspiration he is to me. I have done my wrong in this prolonged episode of hostility between the two of us. Only when I amend those wrongdoings, can I hope to make everything else right.

A heavy price for ineptitude

Working holiday

A new view on a working holiday. Not only does it mean a person who spends their holidays working temporarily, it also means the person HAVING FUN spending their holidays working even when the work doesn't pay well.

What a shame (again)....

although this time, it is more so than any previous times, considering I am almost a third way done with this milestone called university life. (what?! so soon..)

As I am whizzing past all my references and notes for my third paper tomorrow (which marks exactly half of my exams), I cannot help but feel a sense of disappointment in myself for not fully utilising my resources here (sorry mom and dad for wasting your money=(). Here I am (again) deep in remorse that I have not given the attention to my studies which it indeed required and that I will be very lucky if I even managed to pass my exams (see, confession is out, I am terrified!).

Studying Politics (among other things, such as the E part of EPAIS) is so different than anything else I have studied and it took me close to nine months to start realise it. Also, it is extremely fascinating and humbling. Where should I even start? Politics is so different from all the subjects I have taken previously, the usual science, math and compulsory languages taught in school. Unlike all those, politics is such an agile, vast and ever-confusing topic that is (as much as we pretend to be apolitical) relevant in the real world. I remember my very first politics seminar, my tutor asked, "If politics is the struggle for power, what is considered not to be in politics?" None of us could think of anything.

Nine months on, I have learnt more in this past two to three weeks than I have in my time here in Warwick. As I jump from chapter to chapter, I only have so much time for each topic, having to spread my time equally among everything. In the end, all I have done is skimmed the surface of various components. There is so much more for me to learn in each and every of those topic, which I would have known by now if I had fully utilised my time here. It really is quite a shame. And when second year comes, there would be even more topic and hopefully, things will be different.

For this, I have made a special arrangement for myself and hopefully it will work to remind me of my current position and feelings (only now that I am back in this ditch, I remember feeling the same way before my A-levels and also every other examination I have taken XD the out-of-time part only, some of them were not quite that interesting XD). I have pre- (or is it post-?) dated this post to be published again on 4 October 2010, which is the first day of my second year.

Hmm.. Will it work, future-me?

A Sense of Purpose

A few days more and the final stage of my first year... begins. My first paper would be Introduction to Politics on Wednesday, a theory-intensive paper requiring four essays done within a time limit of three hours. Then...

OK, you and I have heard enough of that. Waking, eating, breathing, drinking, sleeping exams is certainly no walk in the park, especially when my brain is in serious need of dusting, like dusting cobwebs off old china.

Although it is no easy work, truth be told (and to the horror of me, and probably you), I am enjoying all the work I have been reading on so far. Introduction to Politics, which I first started with, was quite a burden to begin with, dragging myself from one sentence to another, through words like liberalism, conservatism, ya da, ya da... But, after the initial warm-ups, things started to look up and things got really interesting (or is it because I over with liberalism? hmm..). I continued on with World Politics, which I only recently discovered, is very different from Introduction to Politics. Hmm.. Wow. That is how much I have been slacking XD And then on towards World Economy, then now... Mathematics (no one can ever run away from that!).

The stress surely is significant (as for anyone), but I feel positive about it. Admittedly, it has been a long time since I have felt such productivity flowing out of my efforts. And... I have regained back my sense of usefulness, achievement and desires. I gotten back my interest in subjects I came to university for.

I feel lucky that I took the opportunity to study something unique. It suddenly struck me that politics (and soon, philosophy) is not a subject many people (back home) would do or would have the opportunity to do. Another truth here: the initial reason why I took up EPAIS (Economics, Politics and International Studies) was because of a recommendation from my dad. I did not give much thought to it, just considered it to be an interesting addition to pure Economics and went for it. Although there is still a lot left to be desired for essays, I am beginning to feel the thrills and challenge, instead of burden and dread, on finishing them and hopefully writing (*ahem*bullshitting*ahem*) something worth-reading.

There are many things I wished I had done this year (who doesn't?). One of them being putting more effort into my reading and work. Now when I find something utterly captivating, which happens often, instead of delving deeper into it and researching for more information (wiki is everyone's best friend), I am forced to set it aside and move on to other topics that also require my attention. For example, Marxism. There is so much more to it than being the nemesis of liberalism, a communistic propaganda, the Soviet Union.. ya da ya da... And of course, the ever so precious and triumphant liberalism and capitalism, a wolf in sheep's clothing. If only I was not so ignorant before. Well, that will be for another time.

Part of the reason I am writing this is take it as a reminder if I ever fall of the path again.
Remember, remember *imagine scene from Lion King*

Before this ends, let me make it clear that this year have not been a total waste. I have found that there are some things I can live with, some things that I can live better off without, turned a minor interest into a major one and found it indispensable, unfortunately I had to temporarily suspend it due to its "side-effects" XD Last but not least, the friends (dare I say family?) that I have come to know in this short nine months. They deserve a whole other post, which will come soon.

Already am looking forward to next year even before this one ends. Remember, remember.. XD

Good luck everyone!

Running is guilt-free

As exams looms closer, I just cannot help but to be weighted by this feeling of..... guilt.

Guilt of not pacing my studies since the beginning of the year (in fact, beginning of my education).
Guilt of not fully utilising the resources my parents have bought for me using their hard-earned money.
Guilt of using that money instead to spend my time idly (and garner the most amazing friends!).

Especially now, the guilt is immense.

Guilt of "revising" the wrong book. *hint:almost everyone "reads" this book

And until recently, guilt of not training for my half-marathon (38 days away). My excuse would be due to the weather, it dipped last week and running outside was the last thing I wanted to do.

At last today I bucked up and ran out the door into the most wonderful weather so far. It's lovely that spring is back again. (In fact, I got to kick the blanket off me on the previous night, a second time!)

The run was surprisingly ache-free and it was absolutely indulging. It does not cease to amaze me that running, unlike books, does not punish me for neglecting it. Unlike books, I feel so at ease and thoroughly enjoying every single stride. Instead of time quickening as I am having fun (which it usually does, oh.. all those late nights in the kitchen talking!), time seem to cruise more slowly as I pace myself. Maybe it is because for that period of time, I really am focusing on the present. The bomb!

Run, and you will know what I mean.

See all of you soon, miss you guys lots!

One week was running, next diet, now studies

A little more than two weeks to go and I am so not ready.

Although, love having people to study with. Sure beats studying alone (which doesn't even work!).

Real politics vs. "Fake" politics

These past few days have been pretty historical to the British government. Ever since election day, where none of the parties won a majority, the government have been in a, what they love to call, "Hung Parliament".

In the first few days, it was highly assumed that there would be a Lib-Tory coalition, since Nick Clegg (party leader of Lib Dem) expressed, during his campaign, that he would join with David Cameron (leader of Tories) if Conservatives were to get a large proportion of votes, but insufficient to win a majority. Furthermore, Nick Clegg was officially in talks with the Conservatives exclusively after the election results.

Come today, it was exposed that Lib Dem were in secret talks with Labour over the weekend. Yesterday, Nick Clegg met with Gordon Brown. It looks like Conservatives have already laid down their cards (promising vote reforms, which is one of Lib Dem's priorities).

It doesn't take a national vote to know that everyone is restless and highly displeased with how Nick Clegg is handling this situation. On the other hand, they are after all, the LIBERAL Democrats. Nick Clegg deserves some applauds for putting up with all the pressure and talking with both sides of the parties. On the other hand, it clearly shows how he would handle major situations while in government.

Such an interesting time for politics students. The last hung parliament in British elections, if not mistake, was during 1970s. There is so much for us students of politics to observe and listen as history unfolds. Yet, we are suppose to be deep into our theoretical books, preparing for the imminent year-end exams.

I really should go back to the "fake" politics, i.e. political theories, ideologies, which are all in my "Introduction to Politics" module. Are these ideologies really relevant or are they really fake?

For now, it really does feel irrelevant.

Sacrifices are inevitable, but it's temporary

Some things can never go together, like water and fire, summer and winter, liberty and monarchy.

Baking and weight loss don't go together too.

In the past few months, I have been immersed in the world of cooking and baking. It blew me away, especially the latter. There are so many resources available both in and away the computer, thousands of books and even more blogs dedicated wholly to the topic of food. The love for something we live with everyday is everywhere in this world, from here, to America and all the way home in Malaysia. There are so many blogs dedicated to our South-East Asian specialties and all written so well.

No doubt I soon found myself among them, eagerly trying all sorts of recipes found both on the web and in cookbooks. I went crazy (to say the least). I dedicated hours to cooking and baking, something I am certain I could not have done if I remained back at home. I enjoyed every single minute of it, even slaving six full hours alone in the kitchen to bake just one cake.

Unfortunately, I went overboard in this short year (with the bingeing when I first came here and later baking escapades) and gain quite a few pounds. I could feel the effects of the excess weight (it is surprising how little can make such an effect), I felt lazy both mentally and physically and lost substantial interest in my purpose in being here. It took me two weeks being away from this encapsulating way of life in Warwick to get a wake-up call. The efforts to change, so far, are going well: running frequently and eating healthy and the inevitable halt on baking. Of course, there are days (today, for example) I do want to start the oven in the kitchen, but that would steer me off track from my schedule and goals.

That is not to say I will not bake often again. Balance, I believe, is key. For now, I will stay away from baking. But once I am ready and have achieved what I aimed for, I shall return to baking (not with a vengeance, balance balance). This too, is a motivation for me to complete the half-marathon in good time (an apt sign of being ready?)

Til then, goodbye baking.

Please donate =) http://www.kl-marathon.com/profile/22321

KL Marathon: Run For a Cause

As a motivation to lose the UK fats (that is what I am calling "them") and to get fit, I have signed up for the Standard Chartered KL Marathon on 27 June 2010 under the category of half-marathon (21.1km). I will be running with my housemate here, who was the first to come up with such a great idea!

Instead of solely running, I decided to run for charity, which is the National Cancer Society, in hopes to help them raise funds to continue their non-for-profit work. One of their efforts which caught my attention is building public awareness on early detection for cancer. So many times people have to perish to that disease because they were not paying attention their own body and were unable to find out about the tumour growing inside of them until it is too late. So much pain and suffering can be minimised if everyone took steps to watch after themselves. There is no absolute guaranteed way to prevent the disease, no one is an exception. It can occur to anyone, even the healthiest of people (although staying fit and keeping away from smoking does do wonders). Thus, we should all learn to listen to our own vessel and rely less on luck in detecting the illness.

Therefore, this a great opportunity to do two good things. One, donating to this noble cause and to support me in completing the half-marathon. It would mean so much to me if you could spare that little sum. All this support would definitely come in handy, especially during the last leg of the race. Also, please drop any messages such as advice and whatever in the comment box. I would love to hear what you all think about it =)

To encourage more people to take part and to record this special event, I will be writing constantly on this highlight of my life, all the way until the day of the event.

Please take a look at my profile page (http://www.kl-marathon.com/profile/22321) on the marathon page and possibly, donate. If you have any enquiries, please do not hesitate to drop me an email at sam.klmarathon@googlemail.com.

Thanks for your time. Stay tuned!

Shepard calling wolf

At last there is a story in my mundane life worth mentioning and worth reading.

Yesterday (Tuesday) morning, just before 0900, the fire alarm started ringing. For the first time, I was so sure that it was just a drill testing the system. What made me think so? They have many times done this in the mornings where the alarm would go off for a minute and stop before anyone had time to step out the door (unless you are THAT fearful for your life!).

So, I did what I always do in those situation - hide in the covers of my bed and hoping no one would look through my window, which faces the main road and was uncovered. How so wrong I could be and how stupid I was to do that. Not only did it not stop of a minute, it continued to past 10 minutes mark, half hour, an hour, until it FINALLY ceased at an hour and a half. What an experience to be had with the ridiculously loud alarm ringing in your ears for that long. My mind started altering the "melodies" of the alarm. I am not sure how to explain what I mean, I am no musician after all.

Anyways, being cooped up under THREE layers, one of which is a duvet, for an hour and a half in this season (Spring) is, if I dare say, applaudable. Furthermore, I was terrified of even twitching for fear that an officer would see it through the window. Breathing under the covers started to strain as the air got stuffier and my body was restless, wanting to stretch and get out of the self-made Sahara desert!

Approximately after half an hour (thankfully I had my phone under the covers, which did its best to entertain me=)), I heard sounds of door opening and shutting abruptly. "Oh shit!", the first words that came through my mind. I could hear the noises getting louder and closer. Finally, the inevitable occurred. My blue doors opened and I heard a security guard-sounding (I have no idea why) man talking over his walkie-talkie. It occurred so fast that I couldn't think and could not do anything. I could feel adrenaline fill my pulses into my immovable body, trying to get me up and start running, to get me out of this bed-turned-hell hole. But, I resist, what I could do? Break and jump through my window, like the scenes in Hollywood movies (minus the window being several feet above ground, my room is on the ground floor, not so thankfully)? Or, get up karate-kick the guard? A guard who probably duties as a bouncer at student union.

Luckily, all those were unnecessary. He opened and closed the door as fast as one would if someone asked you to open and close the door, where the other side was just a wall. Nothing other than luck and miracle can explain that. Everyday miracles? XD

It was only an hour after that the alarm stopped. Some time before that, I ventured out of my bed, deciding that I would rather risks the tens of pounds fine (actually, now to think of it, I think it is £100 fine, shit.) than to stay in bed any longer. Never have I so badly wanted to get out of the bed, if only I would feel that way every morning.

In relation to the title above, it could be said that the students are like the villagers, the security is the shepherd, the fire the wolf, with the screams of the boy replaced by a much more annoying alarm. After so many drills, when the actual wolf came, nobody (or just me XD) could not be bothered anymore.

What actually happened was a gas leak (probably from the heaters, since our stoves use electricity). I would consider that another miracle ocurred as the leak did not cause an explosion and kill an innocent, poor girl who was secretly hiding in her covers.

Scary.

Two months plus to go..

If only there was no dreaded exams coming up, I would be jumping for joy! Also, something else is hindering from being overly ecstatic. I do something before I go home, which loud-mouth me promised everyone I could tell (weirdly enough, suddenly everyone is reminding me of it.) Gah.. Loud-mouth indeed. Now, everyone is probably sneakily laughing with the told-you-so look. Furthermore, there is more at stake now (namely, £50).

OK, maybe in some ways I am glad I foolishly made that promise. It is one of the reasons that keeps me going.

First of all, thank you Loo Ann Shien and Aberdeen for giving me so much enthusiasm and motivation to actually attempt... (aarrgghh, I am still hesitant in writing this down, mainly due to embarrassment). Now that the ball really is rolling, everything is feeling great and I actually believe I can accomplish it! So, once again, thank you Loo Ann Shien (I will do my best for you too, alright???)

I will write more on this later. Not much mood to blog, oh wells.

What a shame (again)...

although this time, it is more so than any previous times, considering I am almost a third way done with this milestone called university life. (what?! so soon..)

As I am whizzing past all my references and notes for my third paper tomorrow (which marks exactly half of my exams), I cannot help but feel a sense of disappointment in myself for not fully utilising my resources here (sorry mom and dad for wasting your money=(). Here I am (again) deep in remorse that I have not given the attention to my studies which it indeed required and that I will be very lucky if I even managed to pass my exams (see, confession is out, I am terrified!).

Studying Politics (among other things, such as the E part of EPAIS) is so different than anything else I have studied and it took me close to nine months to start realise it. Also, it is extremely fascinating and humbling. Where should I even start? Politics is so different from all the subjects I have taken previously, the usual science, math and compulsory languages taught in school. Unlike all those, politics is such an agile, vast and ever-confusing topic that is (as much as we pretend to be apolitical) relevant in the real world. I remember my very first politics seminar, my tutor asked, "If politics is the struggle for power, what is considered not to be in politics?" None of us could think of anything.

Nine months on, I have learnt more in this past two to three weeks than I have in my time here in Warwick. As I jump from chapter to chapter, I only have so much time for each topic, having to spread my time equally among everything. In the end, all I have done is skimmed the surface of various components. There is so much more for me to learn in each and every of those topic, which I would have known by now if I had fully utilised my time here. It really is quite a shame. And when second year comes, there would be even more topic and hopefully, things will be different.

For this, I have made a special arrangement for myself and hopefully it will work to remind me of my current position and feelings (only now that I am back in this ditch, I remember feeling the same way before my A-levels and also every other examination I have taken XD the out-of-time part only, some of them were not quite that interesting XD). I have pre- (or is it post-?) dated this post to be published again on 4 October 2010, which is the first day of my second year.

Hmm.. Will it work, future-me?

My last day of March.... 2010 XD

3.30pm

5.00pm

Now-8.30pm

Full days work. Worth every second, I hope =) The smell itself is wonderful (more than wonderful, but I can't seem to find the appropriate word for it)

Hope you guys are having fun in Cambridge. Weird without you guys here =(

Barely surviving

This blog..... just sad. Wait a few more days (and 1500 words later).

For now,

My awesome desktop.

Last year's Warwick Malaysia Night

Trailers for 2009 (not 2010!) MNight:









Wished I was here last year to watch it. The trailers are fantastic, especially the first one. Almost made me shed a tear.

Home... What could be better?

The Chinese New Year Effect

Refer to this article: http://www.straitstimes.com/BreakingNews/Singapore/Story/STIStory_493317.html

The most intriguing parts of the article:

In China, young people, to avoid nagging from their parents, have resorted to 'renting' a boyfriend or girlfriend to take home during this new year period, Mr. Lee observed.

Still, a little social pressure is useful but more importantly, parents and relatives need to encourage them (to start families) and show them support.

Is there some hidden meaning in my dear brother-in-law sending this article to me (and my sister)? Hmmm...

Imagine Mr. Lee behaving like all the aunties, pestering all the younger generations in his family, ”快一点结婚！”.

Cooking blog updated

Two blogs one brain makes this blog even more dead.

Knowing when to fork out the money to eat out

I rarely eat out, I go on weeks (no months yet) without outside food. I am easily satisfied with homemade food.

Every time I eat out, first question I would ask myself is, "Can I cook this?". Usually, I have the confidence to say yes. Obviously I have not been fine dining much.

Thus, knowing when to fork out money for good food is immensely important. I would not want to lose my taste for food and lose the ability to know when a food is inedible (although I have been doing some quite crazy dishes - pepper garlic fried rice last night!).

That is why today's expenditure of £4.50 is justified. There was a Vietnamese food social by the Vietnamese Society (I am Captain Obvious). Together with Nicole and later Tze Xuan and Yeok Yin, all of us were immensely happy with the food the Vietnamese prepared.

The great thing about the social was that for £4.50, I tried so many different things. Unlike outside, for the same amount, I would only get a single dish. I tried almost everything (with the exception of aubergines. Bleh! An acquired taste. It is not that bad I suppose but I would not choose to eat them.) There were the usual noodles and rice. No pho bo though=( The braised pork was excellent, and the chicken soup... MMmmm..

And dessert, I went ga ga. Fruit Salad, I had two servings (bye bye £2). I found the recipe (I think), cannot wait to try.

Unsurprisingly, I could not bear to wait another minute to take pictures before gobbling. Thus no photos. In fact, I only thought about the camera right before my last bite=)

Yum yum..

I PLAN to post something up from Chinese New Year.

A different Chinese New Year (I am Captain Obvious).

Worth crying for...

http://kongkay1.blogspot.com/2010/02/bak-kut-teh-supper-restoran-ttk-1-jln.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+Kong-kay1+%28Kong-Kay1%29

Why do I love to torture myself?=( Haha..

Chinese New Year: 5 more days =o

To take cooking seriously in uni

I have always had an interest in cooking and baking (more so with baking because its experiences is something that was absent in my childhood and I do not need to cook to get good food back home).

Cooking and baking are now (for quite awhile) been my obsession, ever since we (the eight of us) decided to split up and have dinner on our own on weekdays. Suddenly, I would be thinking of my menu throughout the whole day. Forming my groceries list throughout the week (an effective method to keep spendings in shape).

Anyways, Yu Min bought this whole lot of pandan/screwpine leaves back from London (I was planning to make seri muka soon and I just needed a few). So there I was stuck with possibly 30 to 40 stalks of pandan/screwpine leaves, which are surprisingly cheap (at least in the biggest Chinatown in Europe) if you actually need that many.

Anyways, I decided to put it to good use and make red bean soup. So in goes the red bean into the slow cooker, left to be simmered for at least two days before consumption (the way I like it! Thick and gooey. Yum!) Because my housemates were going to have a party tonight in the kitchen, as usual. I had to resort to....

No worries, the rubbish bin next to it is only for paperXD

By the way, I have (another) new blog=)

Guess who's at no. 30?

In the recent article "The 31 Places to Go in 2010" in The New York Times, Malaysia is at 30!

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/10/travel/10places.html?pagewanted=3#Kuala

How I learn to love Malaysia only when I am far away from it.

Life is never without difficult choices

Will the day of every come? The day when we do not need to make choices and everything settles by itself? The day when we do not need to contemplate and deliberate the "best" action plan? The day when we can lie thoughtlessly without any potential for regrets or lost opportunities?

And when it does come, would we wish it never did?

Not today (for me, at least). Today, I wish this decision will form itself, giving me the assurance that nothing would go wrong. That I will not have regrets choosing it, that I wouldn't wish it any otherwise.

What am I to do? Is there ever a fool-proof methodology to go about it?

Imperfections of World Democracy

Although so far until now I have made no mention on anything regarding to my studies here in Warwick, I have learnt and immersed myself in the sorts of knowledge which I would not have otherwise.

Before arriving in UK, when people questioned the course I would pursue here, I would just give the short answer: Economics. That is not exactly true. Not only am I studying Economics, I decided (with the suggestion from my father) to take Politics and International Studies as well. So, the course name is Economics, Politics and International Studies (thus Economics was a much simpler and shorter answer to people's questions).

As far as I am aware of, Warwick is the only university providing such a course. Thus, I was as clueless as everyone else what EPAIS entails. All I know that I would be studying both Economics and Politics. Up until now, neither have I touched anything regarding International Studies, nor do I know what exactly that means. Is international studies another name for international relations (a specialised branch of politics)? I have no clue.

For this year, I have taken up three Economics modules and two Politics modules. Economics 1 is pretty simple, most of the topics were covered in A-levels, just add a little bit more. Quantitative Techniques is pretty damn hard, especially with a lecturer like Dennis Leech. World Economy just begun to be interesting as we finished the history part last term and this term, we are having a new lecturer, who is going through the theoretical part.

Politics is a much obscure subject. There are theories to be learnt, but none of them hold absolutely true. There's the realism theory, while on the opposite, there's the liberalism theory. To make matters worse, there is constructivism right in the middle. All of them have people going for it and people going against it. There is no absolute right or wrong in Politics, not even human rights!

Next is the reason for writing this post today. In politics seminar (one for each module every week), we are all academics sitting in our comfort chairs, enjoying the heat from the radiator, discussing and debating world issues like we care, like we understand. Do we really? Even after all the researching and reading, do we really understand what is truly happening outside our classroom door?

While we are discussing all the terrors, such as genocide, terrorism, we speak with a sense of detachment. With a sense of security of knowing that whatever we talk about, it would end when we exit the class. And next week, we will do exactly the same thing all over again. We are not those who have to live with it every day and every night. We do not to fear for our lives. We do not directly face the consequences of the terror happening in this world. Who are we to talk, discuss about it and act as if we truly understand?

Reading the news about Aung San Suu Kyi today ("Court to decide on Suu Kyi appeal within a month" January 20, 2010, CNN International http://edition.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/asiapcf/01/20/myanmar.suukyi/), there is a person who decided that sitting in the classroom discussing about the issue was not enough for her. She knows that if she wanted to make a difference, she had to go out there and do something, whatever the consequences.

She has been in house arrested for 14 of the past 20 years. Did she think and fear that before she begun? I am sure what she thought of was more than that (probably more on the lines of death and murder, although how is that worse than being isolated in a house with only two companions for 14 years and counting?).

Having been for approximately 20 of such classes so far, it feels like I have not truly learnt anything new. But, this is a necessary step towards achieving something more. Hopefully, not quite like Aung San Suu Kyi (I wouldn't wish for such a predicament to befall on myself), but something of that substance (or as close as it can get).

Cooking Fetish

My RSS reader to me is like Facebook to most other people. When I am free, or right after checking my mail, I will log into the reader to read new posts posted on multifarious sites.

Of course, I have many economics blogs on the reader, which are awesome reads. These blogs are by some of the most knowledgeable economists out there: Paul Krugman (nobel laureate in economics), writers of Freakanomics, professors at famous economics institutions like Princeton and Yale and of course, editors of The Economist. To keep myself up to date on the world outside Warwick, I have most of the major news site on the reader: CNN, New York Times, Guardian..etc... For fun, I have some sites which are there to amuse, like Lifehacker!, which is always full of useful surprises. And last but not least, a list of friends' blogs are on it too. So that I do not have to enter their blogs one at a time to see whether they have posted something new!

Wait... There is still more. (You may ask how do I find time to read ALL of them? Well, I pick and choose what I read and I love to waste my time) Of all the feeds I have on my Reader, the ones that always get me going and all excited are FOOD AND COOKING BLOGS. I am sure this is not surprising to many. But I have taken in an addiction that is hard to cure, and possibly detrimental to my health and the health of my pocket!

I have a whole category just for cooking and baking feeds, which are unsurprisingly labeled "Cooking and Baking"! Most of these sites are blogs by some of the most enthusiastic people. All of them share one common interest: food. Do not think that just because they love food, they are not fit. On the contrary, some of them live excellent lifestyles. Many of them specialise in good, clean, healthy food and the food still looks and sounds so so so GOOD.

Funnily enough, looking at photos of food does not make me crave for food. Simply because, how can biscuits and bread ever compare with those scrumptious delights? Aaahh... Although I am a student (where food is suppose to come in ready-made form), I believe that good food can only be produced on a hob, in an oven, in a steamer. Certainly and never never never out of a microwave.

I am always on a lookout for interesting recipes which I always hope to cook or bake one of these days. But time and funds rarely allows it. Although there are plenty recipes that calls for the most minimum, but the most exciting ones are usually far from it. I will just have to wait for the day I have my own home, my own kitchen, my own pantry. (I always wanted a pantry more than anything else! By then, I can die of happiness.)

I shall prove everyone who says fitness and food don't mix wrong!

Before I stop, let me introduce to everyone one of my ABSOLUTE favourite site to visit: www.rasamalaysia.com (Thank you Sharon for introducing it. Love ya!!!!) The writer is a Penang-ite in America.

I am sounding very aunty, well this is what happens when you hit twenty. You start feeling old, real oldXD

Housemates = kids

In my hall/floor, we have common milk, bread, cheese, butter..etc... So cases of "stealing" (big or small items, it is still stealing after all) are uncommon, at least to my knowledge. Well, Yu Min's eggs did get stolen, but she has had her revenge (she is not one of the kids I am referring too)=)

Anyways, someone STOLE my frozen pizza which I happen to treasure quite a lot. It is those special treats I have for myself which I restrict myself to once a week - the only prepared meal I take. Even though it is a prepared meal, it is extremely delicious (not Tesco Value or Tesco brand). It was on sale during the holidays, so I stocked up on it.

Now that someone has stolen the ration for the week, what am I to do?
1. Consider it finished for the week and continue with the rationing.
2. Finish it up as quickly (and as healthily - without killing myself in the process) as I can.
3. REVENGE! Take someone else's pizza for this week.

The problem with solution (3) is that I have no idea who took it. Damn it! How can he/she take it when it is clearly stated that it belongs to someone else? I wrote my NAME on it.

Ever since they got back, they have already begun to frustrate me, more so than last term. Blame the wonderful weeks when Yu Min and I had the kitchen all to ourselves.

Roar.

This post does not express how angry I was when I found out the pizza was missing. This is a trivial issue, but my anger probably is collected from all other tiny issues as well.

Roar.

Oh well.

Winter '09 London Trip

Happy Twenty Ten, everyone! We are now (unofficially, for most) a year older. Did you feel any different on 31 December than on 1 Jan?
For me, 31 Dec I was brimming with energy and 1 Jan exhausted due to lack of sleep.

All in all, 2010 started off great. Watching the fireworks at London Eye, even when from afar, is breath-taking. The fact that I am in UK has sunk in more then than ever before. I am starting to love this island. Enough about all that, let's talk London!

It is been a long time since I have done this (probably the first since the "renovation" of this blog) - let's have some photos (which must have been sorely missed).

Back to studies.... Toodles~

2010

I have learnt to dislike these "momentous" post. Once that carry, instead of a past, a future. What more, that it may in some way affect this nascent year.

So,

FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA~ refer to "Big Bang Theory" Season 3 Episode 11

HAPPYY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!